Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Five Girls Jacob Black Should Have Imprinted On

This holiday season, all over the world people will be unwrapping gifts. Some of those people will be us, hoping that hardcover book for which we didn't have the money to spare will be underneath.

But some of those people just might be vampires.


And some of them might secretly be wolves...
So forlorn. If only he had an awesome new girl to crush on...

...secretly hoping to find an awesome new girl from YA literature to imprint on.

Sure, the FNC could have brainstormed together and come up with our own list of holiday recommendations. But what would be the fun in that?

What better way to recommend a book than to find out who Jacob would've imprinted on if he wasn't stuck with in love with Renesmee?

Below, check out...
The Five Girls Jacob Black Should Have Imprinted On
(but are definitely too good for him!)

1) Lola Nolan from LOLA AND THE BOY NEXT DOOR by Stephanie Perkins

Listen, Jacob. Sure, you think you want Bella, with her blinking and her almost-dying, but what you really need is a girl like Lola. She's a fashionista to the max--she might even inspire you to start wearing clothes! She'll get you out of your dad's house and into the real world. Maybe she'll even help you realize your secret dream of becoming a rock star. And her friends are cooler than yours.

2) Princess Elisa from GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS by Rae Carson

It's time to upgrade. Why waste all your wolf charms on a girl who only sees the sparkly things in life? What you need in your life is a princess. Princess Elisa to be exact! She loves good food--and you need to stop eating rabbits in the forest. Plus she's super smart, and could give you some awesome advice about how to wrest control of a wolf pack from a tyrant leader.


3) Karou from DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE by Laini Taylor

Maybe you need some more adventure in your life. Sure, turning into a wolf and running your own pack is awesome, but don't you want to see the world? Aren't you feeling a little Belle-at-the-beginning-of-Beauty-and-the-Beast? Isn't there so much more than your provincial Forks life? Then you should definitely start making wolf eyes at Karou. She's a world traveler! She has blue hair! And she could fetch a fair price for those big, shiny molars of yours...


4) Puck Connolly from THE SCORPIO RACES by Maggie Stiefvater

Are you growing tired of constantly fighting with the vampires all the time? Do you ever just wish there was something a little more exciting to protect your land from? Then Jacob, it's time to pack your bags and ferry over to the Isle of Thisby. You think vampires are tough? Try the capaill uisce. Yeah, that's a flesh-eating water horse. And if that's not tough enough, try your charms on Puck Connolly. She's a fierce as a water horse and as loyal as a real horse. You thought trying to keep up with Bella-with-a-death-wish was tough? You haven't seen anything yet.

5) Tris Prior from DIVERGENT by Veronica Roth

Jacob, perhaps your issue is you were born in the wrong genre. I mean, sure, you transform into a wolf and you like to rip your shirt off in anger, but maybe paranormal romance just isn't a match for you. Maybe it's time to try something else...dystopia, perhaps? Tris Prior would be happy to help you find your faction. You don't mind jumping off moving trains onto the tops of buildings, right?



But seriously, these were easily some of the best books I read this year, so if you're looking to give some awesome YA books as presents this year, check these out!

So, who do YOU think Jacob Black should've gone for instead?



11 comments:

  1. Hahaha this is an awesome post!!!

    Giselle
    Xpresso Reads

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay, this is an awesome post. And I agree with all your choices! I think I'd add Maggie Mae from Bethany Wiggins' SHIFTING. Loved that book! And they could turn into animals together. haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. This post is my favorite! And I have to agree with all of your choices. What great taste you have:-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lol! What a great way of putting it. Imprinting, of course, isn't in his control, but any of the ladies on your list would certainly be worthy.

    We also think Mia from If I Stay would be a good choice, as would Briony from Chime.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha!!!! This was too awesome for words.:D

    ReplyDelete
  6. You won me over just from the title of this blog post. lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love this post! So incredibly funny. :D I think I'd recommend Clara from Unearthly by Cythia Hand.

    Sarah @ Smitten over Books

    ReplyDelete
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  10. I love the character of Edward Cullen than Jacob Black.

    ReplyDelete

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