Tyler: *wolf growl*
La Casa De Gilbert
Jenna: So Elena is my brother's sisters' boyfriend's mother's cousin's uncle's aunt's daughter.
Alaric: WOOHOOO! More screen time!
Uncle John: *has more screen time than Alaric*
Damon: Uncle John! Let's have a chat.
The Only Restaurant in Mystic Falls
Jules: Where is Tyler?
Brady: *SHOOTS YOU IN THE FACE*
Frankie: :O I don't think I like Brady anymore...
Wolf-ebago Cage of Vampire Torture
Brady: *Boob Shoot*
Caroline: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *sobs*
Tyler: *looks thoroughly confused*
Phone Call from Jules: Bring Tyler to the Wolf-ebago in 20 mins or Princess Barbie gets it.
Stefan: I want proof she's still alive
Brady: *Vampire Torture*
Stefan: Let's go!
Elena: *jealous eyes*
Damon: No thanks.
Elena: *Victory Eyes*
Phone Call from Stefan: So um, things aren't going well
Damon: He's a wolf. I kill wolves.
Elena: *arm grasp*
Damon: Stop. Doing. That. You're overestimating the amount of self control the writers put in the script.
Uncle John: I'm still not telling you what I know. But what's up?
Damon: I gg, watch your kid!
Chamber of The Hottest Guys Give the Baddest Torture
The Most Awkward Father/Daughter Moment of All Season
Location: The Only Restaurant in Mystic Falls
Elena: Don't call me daughter, not fit to. The picture kept will remind me...
Werewolf-Vampire Hand-Off: The Treaty Line
Jules: Give me the boy!
Frankie: Man, why are werewolves always so unreasonable? Vampires just want to get along.
Damon: I don't! And look! No full moon. We win!
Jules: *wolf whistles*
Two Dozen Wolves: *jump out of the trees*
Brady: Which one of you blood-suckers killed Mason?
Damon: OOOH! OOOH! ME! ME!
Brady: Make him suffer!
And then ALL hell breaks loose and the wolves are crawling up the wolf-ebago and trees and Stefan is actually fighting bad-ass and then...
Damon: *Heart Ripped from Werewolf in MID-AIR!*
Damon: RULES THIS EPISODE!
Meanwhile Tyler runs inside to help Caroline but then totally hesitates and stands there having a momentary relapse into season 1 douchebag Tyler instead of season 2 sensitive Tyler. But then he lets her out and Stefan is stabbed in the back. And Damon fights Brady! Until Jules throws Caroline against the wolf-ebago and WTF! Caroline needs to kick ass right now because she's the best vampire ever! UGH! But Jules has a gun to her neck And Tyler WATCHES!
Daddy Warlock: *Werewolf migraines* Elijah sent me because he's pretty cool. Now get out of here before you die. And wolf-boy, tell your friends to leave town.
Stefan: *eyes Caroline*
Caroline: *Tortured and Traumatized*
Stefan: Should I come in and comfort you?
Caroline: *tear* No. I'm ok. I'm season 2 Caroline. I Rule.
Stefan: *checks out her butt*
Team Stefaline: *pokes heads out of hiding*
Uncle John: Look! I just got an Originals Death Kit from Ebay!
Damon: Who sold it to you?
Uncle John: Isobel.
Call from Matt: Um, you forgot me.
Caroline: Sorry! Bonnie's here. Crying.
Matt: So, that's not the same Bonnie sitting at the TORIMF with Jeremy?
Caroline: Totally not the same.
Tyler: I'm so sorry about what happened.
Caroline: Do you KNOW what they did to me? They TORTURED me! And you didn't do anything. Our friendship is OVER! *door slam*
Team Cryler: Fail!
Uncle John: Here's a bracelet from your real mother, the one who raised you. Because you know, I was her brother in law so I had things that were hers. Also I'm a better protector than Elijah. I protect my DNA.
Elena: You want to protect me? Get in line. Everyone wants to protect me! I'm the star of the show!
Stefan: Elena! I need you to come help--
Stefan: EGO-MANIAC! You're having Daddy-Issues? Caroline was TORTURED! Sleepover! Her House! Now!
Tyler: Is it always like this?
Brady: Nah, you're just sitting on the wrong side of the treaty line. When we go back to the rez, it'll be cool!
Jules: Why was Mason even here?
Tyler: He was looking for a moonstone.
Brady: A moonstone?
Tyler: Yeah it's season 2's plot point.
Stefan delivers a bouquet of Bonnie and Elena. Then mouths "I love you" to Elena.
Team Stefaline: *Frustrated*
Damon: So anyway, I kill people. Come here....*BITE*
Bath-water: Blood in the bathtub, blood in the bathtub! We are contaminated.
The Tomb of Katherine is STILL in There
Uncle John: Katherine
Katherine: Sorry bout that time I cut your fingers off. Get me out of here?
Uncle John: Yah. Me and Isobel are on it!