Friday, July 8, 2011

Edward Cullen and Jacob Black Review Maggie Stiefvater's FOREVER!

It's no secret the FNC are huge Maggie Stiefvater fans.  But when Frankie and I sat down to co-review FOREVER, we realized we just...couldn't.  Not coherently, anyway.  And who wants to read a post filled with "OMG I LOVED IT!  OMG WITH THE WOLVES!  OMG THE KISSING!  AND OMG THE WOLVES!  AND OMG THAT OTHER PART WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT! (because our reviews are spoiler free!)" AND OMG I LOVED IT!  AND THE KISSING OMG!  AND THAT ENDING! O.M.G."

So, we decided to call in some back-up.

Jacob Black!  Edward Cullen!

Frankie and Sara: Take it away, boys!

Jacob: First of all, Grace is a werewolf in this book. And she's cool about it, unlike some other she-wolves I know. Which makes her AWESOME.

Edward: Perhaps we should start by discussing the literary merits of Stiefvater's lyrical style.  I have seven PhDs in English.  I know these things.

Jacob: You have seven PhDs in STUPID.  I don't care about style. I care that I liked this story! Also, werewolves are awesome.  And I loved seeing Grace's character as a girl.  And a wolf.  It upped the tension between her and Sam so much.

Edward: Did you know that Cole was a perfect foil for Sam, and that Stiefvater used such literary techniques as simile and metaphor to draw out the emotional core of all four narrators?

Jacob: Can you shut up with this literary mumbo-jumbo and just talk about what you liked? This is a review, not a thesis!

Edward: Fine.  I liked the romance and deep love between Grace and Sam.  Sam is a gentlemen.  Unlike that rake, Cole St. Clair, who needs to learn propriety.  And wear clothes more often.

Jacob: Wolves don't need clothes!

Edward: I will choose to ignore that last comment. Moving forward. I found myself so enthralled with the narrative that I was vexed to come to its conclusion.

Jacob: It was so intense!  It was BAM!  And then SLAM!  And POW!  And BANG!

Edward: Listen, dog.  No one will take this review seriously if you use terms like that!

Jacob: !

Edward: This book had great agency.  I found myself turning pages at an alarmingly-fast rate.  My only critique of Ms. Stiefvater is the glaring absence of vampires in her novel.  It was a good novel, but with could have been great.

Jacob: WTF?!  This novel is AWESOME, and vampires suck, dude.

Edward: How dare you!  I can sparkle!

Jacob: But can you do...THIS!?

Edward: I don't feel the need to prove my skills with you, Jacob. In conclusion, I found the novel to be one of emotional intensity and lyrical beauty.  It was a breathtaking race to the climax that I didn't want to see end.

Jacob: Okay, man.  I guess we can agree on this one thing.  FOREVER rocked!

Edward: agree with me?

Jacob: Ohh yeah...

Bella: WTF!?

You guys stole my copy of Forever!

Frankie and Sara: Ok guys, that's a wrap. FOREVER comes out July 12th!  Find it wherever books are sold!  And buy it!  Or maybe win an ARC from us! (Or Edward might try to kiss YOU, too.)


  1. Ahahahahaha, I love it. That was my reaction while reading it as well.

  2. BAHAHAH this is brilliant! I loved it, so creative :) Fab screencaps

  3. This is officially my favorite book review of all time.

    I can't wait to read this book!

  4. This was made of so much awesome. I can't even...

    Also, WHERE DID THAT PICTURE OF THEM KISSING COME FROM?! I need backstory on this. I didn't hear the fandom implode, so I'm assuming it was photoshopped?

  5. Best. Review. Ever.

    You guys rocks!!!!!

  6. Ahahaha that's genius. Those two have such great banter lol. Nice review boys! :)

  7. hahahaha!!
    loved it!!!
    the most awesome way to review.ever.

  8. This was all sorts of awesome. I loved when Jacob turned into his wolf self. I can't wait to read this!

  9. Hilarious! Thanks for all the shirtless photos of Jacob.

    I hope I get Forever for my birthday, which just happens to be the same day that Forever is released.

  10. I love this review! I can't wait to read Forever!

  11. LOLOLOLOL! You guys are HYSTERICAL! Now we don't think we even CAN read the book, 'cause we'd just be thinking about this review!

  12. This really is the best review EVER. :)

  13. "How dare you! I can sparkle"

    *fist bump*

  14. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! First Vamp Diairies now this - I'm dying!


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