So...here we go!
The Barn of Scandalous Sleepovers and Missing Teenagers
Hana, Aria, Spencer and Emily are inside Spencer's family's barn, having the calmest sleepover ever. Their activities include, walking around in the dark, shining a flashlight at the big bad thunderstorm and....SCREAMING at the dark figure entering the barn.
Relax, guys--it's just Allison!
Aria: OMG, Ali, you scared us.
Ali: *grins* I know. Let's get drunk and tell secrets because that's what best friends do and I'm the bestest friend you'll ever have.
Emily: Oh that's ok, Ali, there's not much to tell.
Ali: Of course not you, lesbian*cough*lesbian.
Aria: I'll drink...
And then the magic secret telling drink causes all of the girls to pass out and Aria wakes up and immediately is like, ummmm where's Allison? Another dark figure appears at the door of the barn. But it's not Allison this time. It's...Spencer!
Aria: What happened to Allison? (BTW we'll be asking this question I bet at least twice in every episode)
Spencer: I searched everywhere. I heard her scream, but I can't find her. Dude! Allison's gone!
Dun dun dun....
Rosewood, PA: One Year After Allison Dissapeared: La Casa de Aria
Aria (the funky one) is checking herself out in the mirror when her mom walks in and OMG! Your mom is Holly Marie Combs! Cool!
Holly Marie Combs: I'll be calling myself Ella in this tv show.
Right...not Holly Marie Combs...Ella!
Ella: Thank you. So Aria, I know we just spent the past year in Iceland, but now that we're home, you should totally call your old friends, you know the ones you haven't seen since the night you know who dissapeared from the you know where.
Aria: Ummm yeah, maybe later. Gotta go take my brother to lacrosse practice.
Aria's Dad: Being here must bring up a lot of memories for you, sweetie, like
Aria: Don't worry, Dad. No one but me knows about that. No one...
Some Grill in Rosewood:
Aria sits alone at the bar and orders a
Cute Boy: Hey baby, you come here often?
Aria: No, I just got back from Iceland.
Cute Boy: Hot. I just graduated from college and I'm going to be a teacher.
Aria: Really? I want to be a teacher.
Cute Boy: What's your major? You are in college, right?
Aria: I'm thinking about English and creative writing...
Cute Boy: OMG that's what I teach.
Aria: I think we're soul mates.
Cute Boy: Want to
Hana (the bad one) is flirting with some poor sunglasses guy in the department store.
Hana: Do these make me look sexy?
Sunglasses Guy: *drools*
Hana: Mind if I show my friend?
Sunglasses Guy: *drools*
Hana: Ok, I'll be riiiiiight back.
And then she leaves to go talk to Spencer.
Hana: Hey Spencer (the overachiever). Aren't you blond in the books?
Spencer: Yeah, but brunettes always get better ratings.
Spencer: Anyway.... in between being the president of the student council and lacross team captain, and getting straight As, and scoring a 1600 on the SATs and teaching children how to swim in Africa...I need a shirt to wear to dinner tonight to meet my even bigger overachiever of a sister's new boyfriend.
Hana: WOW! Well, don't wear that. Wear this sexy shirt.
Hana: It says in the script that your going to steal your sister's boyfriend.
Spencer: Ooooh right, thanks!
And then Hana walks out of the department store, right past a security guard and pushes the sunglasses over her face and poor sunglasses dude is counting his glasses and realizing one is missing *cries* and then security stops Hana!
Hana: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I didn't--
Security: Here, Miss, you forgot your purse.
Hana is totally relieved and catches up with her new bff Mona who is also a shoplifter and stole a scarf! The scandal!!!
Rosewood High School:
Aria's dad drops her off for her first day back and in case you missed it the first time around...he is VERY VERY sorry he cheated on Aria's mom,
And then Aria gets out of the car and watches it speed away and seeing the license plate triggers a....
Flashback: The Year Allison Discovered Aria's Secret
Allison: Run, Aria! That loserface Mona is following us again.
Aria: Hehe, Ali you're the best.
Mona: Hey you guuuuuuuuuuuys!
Allison: Ew! *grabs Aria and takes her through some bushes and sees...* Hey! Isn't that your dad's car?
Allison: And isn't that your dad inside it, kissing Not-Your-Mom?
Aria: Oh crap.
Rosewood High School: The Year That Allison is Missing
Emily: Hi, Aria! Wow I haven't seen you in a year! Remember when you used to have pink hair streaks?
Aria: Yeah that was pretty much so the audience could tell the difference between old me and new me.
Emily: But I didn't have pink streaks in my hair.
Aria: You're storyline isn't as interesting as mine.
Aria: Yeah, so weird about Allison still missing right?
So then Emily and Aria go to English class, and Hana and Mona are there and so is Spencer and no one is really friends anymore, not after Allison
Ezra: *sees Aria* OMFG!
Aria: *sees Ezra* NFW!
Aria's Cell Phone: Beeps!
Text Message From A:
Maybe he fools around with students all the time, lots of teachers do, just ask your dad!
At La Casa De Emily:
Emily: It's so weird that Allison isn't living in her house anymore, I mean I guess that's not so weird because she's been gone for like a year and not like I've been thinking about her everyday for the last year or kissing a picture of her by my nightstand, I mean...what?
Emily's Mom: They sold the house. We have new neighbors. Bring them this basket of ridiculous gourmet treats that no human actually likes.
At Allison's Old House:
OMG! Kendra the Vampire Slayer has moved into Allison's old house! What's up Kendra! Where'd you move from?
Kendra: Well first I was in some unknown part of the world where slayers are given to their watchers as babies. That's where I got my accent. Then I moved to Sunnydale. Then I changed my name to Emily, and actually I went back in time about a hundred years to become a witch and work for Katherine the vampire, in Mystic Falls, Virginia. But now, I got this stint as a human girl here in Rosewood. Also, my accent is gone.
Mya: So want to come up to my room now?
Mya: You got a boyfriend?
Mya: Me too! Want to smoke pot?
Mya: Come on, sit on the bed with me....closer...closer.. *grins*
At the Barn of Epic Sleepovers and Missing Teenagers/Barn of Epic Heartache and Discovering Your Sister is a Bi-atch:
Melissa: Wow, Spencer, all those countless hours you spent redecorating and refurnishing the barn are really going to pay off when I steal it from you and move in with my new boyfriend, Wren.
Spencer: What...but...No! The barn is mine!
Melissa: Not anymore.
Wren: Hi, I'm absolutely adorably charming. And from England.
Later that night...
Wren puts out his cigarette in a plant and Spencer is like ooooooh no you didn't, my sister hates smokers and he's like well baby, it's our secret and Spencer is like, yeah....I like you.
Aria goes to see
Ezra: I can't believe your 16! How are you such a good kisser?
Aria: We can still kiss
Ezra: Um, no we can't! I'm your teacher. And I can't believe your 16!
Outside Allison's Old House/Mya's New House:
Emily: OMG NO! Trashmen! Stop throwing away Allison's old things!
Mya: What's wrong with you?
Emily: It's just that the girl who used to live in your room dissapeared and I refuse to believe she's dead.
Mya: Oooh, I see. *winks*
Emily and Mya: Awkward friend kiss on the cheek that is somehow not quite on the cheek
Rosewood High Locker Room:
Emily gets out of the shower and goes to her locker and finds...
Note From A:
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!
A: OOps, wrong note. Can I have that back?
Note from A: Take 2
Em, I've been replaced! You found a new friend to kiss!
At La Casa De Spencer:
Wren comes into the kitchen soaking wet from the hot tub and Spencer is there alone, without her sister in a bikini and a towel about to head out.
Spencer: *hands him her towel to reveal her bikini* Ow, my shoulder hurts.
Wren: I'm almost a doctor, let me fix it for you.
Seductive backrub from your sister's much older boyfriend....INTERRUPTED by your sister!
Spencer: GG! BYE!
Later that Night:
Spencer watches Melissa and Wren kissing outside HER Effing Barn--Dammit! And then she gets a ping from her email.
Email From A:
The Latest Developments in Penis Enlargement
A: Oops wrong email....*resends*
Spencer's Email: Pings
Email From A: Take 2
Poor Spencer always wants Melissa’s boyfriends. But remember if you kiss, I tell.
Flashback! To the Year Allison Discovered Spencer's Horrible Secret:
Allison walks into Spencer's kitchen and sees Hana eating.
Allison: Don't eat that you'll be fat *cough* fat.
Melissa walks in with her boyfriend Ian.
Allison: Spencer, you have to tell, Melissa.
Melissa: Tell me what?
Spencer: You! Me! Outside!
Allison and Spencer head outside
Spencer: WTF was that!
Allison: I'm your bff, you have to tell your sister you kissed her bf.
Spencer: If you tell on me, I'll tell everyone the truth about The Jenna Thing!
Allison: THE JENNA THING!
Spencer: YES! The Jenna Thing!
Audience: What's The Jenna Thing?
Pretty Little Liars Fans: Read the book.
Emily: I got a note from someone called A saying things only Allison could know!
Aria: I got a text message from someone called A saying things only Allison could know!
Emily: It can only mean one thing. Allison is alive! And she's trying to scare us.
Aria: Yeah, that's it.
At La Casa De Hana:
Hana's Mom: So I saw Aria's mom, Ella today. She didn't know your dad left us.
Hana: Oh. Yeah, we're not friends anymore, so Aria didn't know...
The Doorbell: Rings
Hana: Answers the door
The Police: Are here
Hana's Mom: What are you doing here?
The Police: We're arresting your daughter for grand sunglasses theft at the department store in the mall.
Hana: Is Handcuffed
Rosewood Police Station:
Hana nervously grabs at candy outside the office where her mom is talking to the detective, and showing a LOT of leg and....the door closes.
Text Message From A:
Careful, Hana! Prison food makes you fat.
Outside the Police Station:
Hana's Mom: Hana, what is your problem? We have a reputation here. And I buy you everything you need to be popular.
Hana: I don't know, I just do it.
Hana's Mom: No you don't. Also your record is cleared. I'm taking care of it.
Hana's Mom: Ever seen the beginning of Forest Gump?
Hana: What's Forest Gump?
At Allison's Old house/Mya's New House
Police sirens are going off and police are EVERYWHERE!
Emily: OMG, Mya! Are you ok? I was so worried something had happened to you.
Mya: I'm ok! But...they found your friend's dead body under the gazebo.
Allison's Dead Body: Is pushed along on a stretcher
Hana: Sees Allison's Dead Body
Aria: Sees Allison's Dead Body
Spencer: Sees Allison's Dead Body
Aria: Do you think...
Spencer: the police know....
Emily: about the Jenna thing?
Aria: NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE JENNA THING! Only Allison knows...
Emily: And she's dead, right?
Spencer: We are so screwed!
At La Casa De Hana:
She watches the news about Allison and the police announce there is a killer on the loose. And then her mom comes home...with the detective from the police station and they are making out and head upstairs...
Hana: Oh, that's how you're taking care of it.
Hana's Mom: I'm doing this for you, punk!
Hana: Oh come on, Mom. He's cute!
At Allison's Epic Funeral
Aria stands alone, contemplating.
Ezra: I'm sorry I'm being mean to you. It's for the best. I'm not a good friend for you.
Aria: Because you're a vampire?
Ezra: No, because I'm your teacher.
Aria: Oh right. Well I'd never do anything to hurt you, or get you in trouble
Except then she does! She kisses him on the cheek and Ezra's restraint is GONE and he grabs her and starts kissing her.
Ezra: I'm so going to jail.
Aria: Does this mean I don't have to do my homework?
So then Aria sits with Hana, Emily, and Spencer right in front of Allison's ginormous death picture and then Aria's cell phone goes off again! Girl, learn how to use the silent button.
But it's NOT a text message from A.
And then the girls turn...and see a blind girl coming in.
Spencer: OMG, it's Jenna!
Allison's Mom: I didn't think Allison was friends with Jenna
Aria: She wasn't.
Emily: OMG, the Jenna Thing!
Outside the funeral...
The detective comes over to see the girls...while Jenna of The Jenna Thing stands in the distance
Detective: Just so you know girls, this is no longer a missing person's investigation, it's a murder and I will be interviewing every single one of you until I get to the bottom of this mess!
Hana, Aria, Spencer, Emily: *Gulp*
Four Way Text Message From A:
I'm still here bitches. And I know EVERYTHING
Hana, Aria, Spencer, Emily: Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Close Up On Allison's Funeral Portrait:
Ok guys, hope you enjoyed! Giveaway time!
I'm giving away a paperback copy of Pretty Little Liars Book 1 (with the new tv show cover) to one random commenter below. Rules are simple, comment on the recap and/or the show and leave your email address.
To win, you must be a follower of The First Novels Club and Frankie Writes.
I'll announce the winner just before next week's episode.