Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Click here for Aladdin.
Click here for The Little Mermaid.
Click here for Beauty and the Beast.
Don't worry there is more to come, but today...let's talk about ROMANCE!!
We shall explore. To start this competition off I want to bring two men into the arena.
"Hello all and welcome to my blog."
Um, Charming, you might be the prince of the entire kingdom, but this isn't your blog, it's the FNC's.
"What's mine is your and yours is mine."
Umm yeah...just go stand in the corner over there. Ok? Thanks!
Well ladies, we have two princes (no not like the Spin Doctors song) and they are both charming...
"Oh Oh! Me! Me! You said my name, Charming."
Charming Shhhhh! I'm trying to make a point, I can't have you jumping up and down every second because your name is also an adjective.
Prince Charming (smolders)
Ok as I was saying, they are well-mannered, and very handsome and very rich and powerful, because they are royalty and all.
Charming and Philip puff out their chests and beam!
But honestly... while riches, looks, and power are nice and all, I need more. Tell me why should I fall in love with you?
Um that's nice, but I was thinking something deeper. What are your hobbies? What special qualities can you bring to a relationship?
"Oh yes that fair maiden, I was en route to the point. I am very good with a sword."
"What's so funny? I cut down all of those thorns hiding the castle where my true love lay sleeping."
Sorry. And hmmmm, so not only are you cute, but your well muscled too. Interesting...
Uh-huh, so you're saying you have brains.
"Yes indeed oh fair one."
Oh Charming, I love it when you say that. But I'm still not convinced. Can you ride a horse?
"Well I have a horse, it pulls my carriage..."
Yeah true, but you're kind of hard to talk to. Do you like books? Play sports? Like the movies? Have a secret desire to be a racecar driver?
"I am simply Prince Philip. I cut down branches and can bring fair maidens back to life with a kiss."
"I can find lost shoes!"
Oh geez! Charming, you're making this really hard on me. Is there anything you can do well? Any reason at all I should love you? Are you kind to animals? Do you volunteer to feed the poor?
"Yes, there is something. I'm a really great dancer!"
"I think I can convince you."
"Now close your eyes..."
"What? I'm a good kisser!"
Ok gentlemen, thanks for coming-there's the door. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
"But we've met before! In a dream-"
Ok Ladies, well there you have it. Both are pretty handsome, both have excellent arm candy potential and while a bit shallow, they are sincere. But just not quite enough to make me swoon. Also there didn't seem to be enough going on with them. One of my favorite Cinderella adaptations is Ever After with Drew Barrymore.
He was kind of a spoiled brat. He didn't want to be king. He wanted to be free and experience the world and discuss art, ride his horse, read books, talk about philosophy, debate ethics. He liked to sneak out, and he was rash and sometimes needed to be rescued himself (remember when Drew threw him on her back-yeah girl!).
Anyway, he grew up in the movie, he learned from Drew, he made social statements (I want to invite the gypsies to the ball!) and yeah, he was one hell of a great kisser.
So what say you ladies? Who won the smackdown? What qualities could have redeemed Philip and Charming?
Stay tuned for round 2...